


come out upon my seas

by poppyrainstorm



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Afterlife, Character Death, Fairy Tale Retellings, HxHBB18, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 02:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15062912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppyrainstorm/pseuds/poppyrainstorm
Summary: “Hi.” A voice filters down the line, and Gon knows that he can place this voice from somewhere. He knows. “Gon Freecss?”“That’s me.” Gon repeats, and he waves the man goodbye, closing the door softly and collapsing onto the bed with the phone still in one hand. “Who is this?”“Um, this is Killua. Zoldyck. We met downstairs.”Gon nearly drops the phone.He scrambles to regain his grip on it, and fails somewhat miserably, letting it fall to the floor with a clatter. Killua keeps talking, but it’s indistinguishable from the racket that he’s currently stirring, and when he finally pops up again with the phone in his hand, Killua is asking a question.“Would you be willing to help me?”Or: Killua Zoldyck is trying to find his sister Alluka, who’s escaped the other Zoldycks to the otherworldly realm of Masadora, an afterlife where time stands still. He only has to break his curse in this life before passing on to the next one.Gon Freecss has a predictable way of life that he can count on. He doesn’t, however, count on a strange silver-haired man showing up and asking for his help, nor the feelings that follow him.A retelling of the Irish fairytale of Tír na nÓg.





	come out upon my seas

Killua Zoldyck is thoroughly sick of witch doctors. 

He’s done this no less than thirteen times before this, and it’s getting tedious at this point, especially when they all look at him with the same pitying gaze. Melody is only the last of many, and she’s being unhelpful as well.

She presses a hand to his chest, her touch gentle, and he narrows his eyes. It’s only when she opens her eyes wide that he flinches slightly away from her palm, and she sits back. 

“Your heart is lonely.” She tells him, and Killua is nonplussed. 

“No shit.” He says flatly. “My sister’s currently in the afterlife. I want her back, thanks very much. Can I break my curse or not?” 

“Of course you can break it,” Melody says, and her voice is confused when she speaks. “Every curse can be broken. Even the worst one. Yours is unique, though, Mr. Zoldyck. You need-,” 

“Another person?” Killua forces the words out through gritted teeth. 

“Yes.” Melody replies, and she sweeps up the eggshells and robin’s feathers that are strewn across the table. There are a few rose petals that are scattered in his lap, and Killua wants to crush them in the palm of his hand. 

“Perfect.” He mutters, rubbing his head. “Just perfect. Just what I wanted to hear.” 

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear.” Melody says softly, and she hands him a small glass bottle that’s smooth and finely crafted. “I can only tell you what’s there. I can’t be your other person, though, you realize? You need a person who’s willing to-” 

“Thanks.” Killua says shortly, and rises from his seat, throwing a few coins and a red scarf across the table. “You’ve been a big help. Do you know where I could find somebody just a bit more powerful? You know, who could actually-,”

“Mr. Zoldyck-,” Melody says, and he cuts her off with a brittle laugh. 

“Oh, right. You can’t, because I need this miracle worker of another person. A person who’s willing to stay with me for the rest of their life. Right?”  
Melody doesn’t say anything, but it’s enough of an acknowledgement that he rolls his eyes and yanks open the door. “That’s what I thought.” 

“You’ll find them soon.” She says, eyes soft and forgiving, and Killua hates that the pity is still there, embedded in her tone like a piece of silver in a chunk of granite.

“I don’t need anybody.” He says instead, because it’s easier than the alternative. “I just need to get it broken and done. Understand?” 

“I understand.” She says, “But it might do you some good.” 

“I don’t need a life coach,” Killua says with a snort, and he leaves the broken down shop easily. It’s quick and easy, and he’s able to pass by the door without much trouble, which means that the woman found his payment acceptable. More than once, he’s been held captive because they want something else out of him-there was a man in a city a few miles back that held him for the ring in his pocket. Killua had to fight that one-it was a gift from Alluka and he’ll be damned if he’s giving it up. 

He can't give up anything that Alluka’s given him. 

The air is brisk and cold and he shoves both hands in his pockets as he walks. It's a quiet day, and the street is empty. The only sound is the wind in the trees. Places like this, eerie and dull, are the places that Killua normally shies away from, because they're the places that remind him of his family. Melody is setting up shop here ‘temporarily’, as she told him. 

The curse is not difficult to get around at all. It's only that his family is certain that he’ll never beat it, and it's only that he is a wanderer. 

He can still remember his brother’s eyes when he was pointed away from their mansion. 

_Leave, Killu._

“I'll find you,” He says to the wind. “I promise, Alluka. I'm coming. I wouldn't lie to you, you know that?” 

He imagines she’s here, giving him a direction to go, smiling, telling him he'll reach Masadora eventually. He imagines that he hasn't been cast out. 

He imagines, he imagines, he imagines. 

*** 

Neon Nostrade is writing furiously in her glittering pink notebook, and Killua is bored. 

She’s clearly deep in thought, but he doesn't particularly care about that-he wants his fortune, he wants reassurance, he wants to know that he can break a goddamn curse on his own. 

“You're awfully quiet.” She says, checking the last few lines that she’s written. “Are you _sure_ you don't want to just go?” 

“Yes,” He replies through gritted teeth. “I am one hundred percent sure, Ms. Nostrade.” 

“Just making sure,” She says, smiling at him and twirling her pen. “Some people cop out halfway through, you know. Some people don’t care for this kind of thing.” Her hair is bright and colorful. Half fey, maybe? 

“I want the whole thing.” Killua says firmly. “If you can't offer me your services, Miss Nostrade, I will go elsewhere.” 

“Oh, hush.” Neon waves her hand. “Pushy, aren't we? Do you want company?” She brightens. “I think Kurapika just got back. You could talk to him.” 

“I’d rather not-,” 

“I can call him!” She’s completely distracted now, hair flying out of the bright oversize bow that it’s tied back with. “You could have somebody to talk to, Killua!” 

“I’d prefer Mr. Zoldyck.” Killua tries to say, but Neon is unstoppable. 

“I think he’s having a few friends over,” She says, “But that’s not a big deal. You can meet them too. I bet he won’t mind. I bet you’ll all be friends! I’ll call him up.” She runs over to the wall. 

Neon Nostrade is his most recent meeting. She’s wrapped in silks and wearing a pair of bright slippers. She’s a mess of clashing fabrics, and if he didn’t know better, he’d have sworn that she jumped out of a picture book somewhere. She also has multiple bodyguards, all of whom have been out until recently. 

“You’ll like Kurapika.” She says assuredly. “He’s a Hunter. Everybody likes Hunters, right?” Her nose wrinkles. 

Killua recoils a bit. He most definitely does not like Hunters. They always stick their noses where they don’t belong, and they are never where they need to be. The irony that he has to marry one in order to see his sister isn’t lost on him, and certainly wasn’t lost on his parents when they kicked him out.

“You really don't-,” Killua tries to tell her, but Neon won't have it. She pulls out bottles and trinkets from underneath the desk, and with them come all sorts of things that make Killua blink furiously. There's a gryphon’s claw that looks like it's been ripped out violently. There's a pair of red eyes suspended in a glass jar. There's a large sheer dress with the legs still sticking out the bottom. 

Neon doesn't focus on any of those. She pulls out bottles of bright nail polish. The fumes are almost enough to make his head spin, but as she sets them out in front of him she puts a finger atop each one and names the colors. 

“This one is called Ocean Floor,” She says conversationally, rolling the dark blue in between her hands. “Daddy got it real cheap. It's mixed with Fey fruit.” 

“Isn't that nearly impossible to obtain?” Killua frowns, looking at the array of colors in front of him. 

“Yeah!” She seems pleased by the question. “Yeah. I had to tell a big guy’s fortune, you know.” She cracks the bottle open and goes to her old phone on the wall. “Warm up the gold, would you?” 

Killua has warmed up nail polish before. He did it all the time for Alluka. It isn't hard, and it's a reflex to take the smooth glass between his palms and roll it back and forth. Alluka never liked metallics, though-always spring colors. Always ivory and pink and green and cream. Always things that would make her smile. 

“Oh, you’re good at it!” Neon says happily when she comes back. “That’s a relief. Once I had a client, and I asked him to warm up the nail polish, and he held it near the fire. It was really funny!” She laughs for a moment, before it dies awkwardly on her lips. 

“I’ve painted nails before.” Killua says stiffly. 

“Oh, yeah. I guess you would have.” She says idly. “Paint mine?” She extends her hands. They’re delicate, fragile. He could break both her wrists easily. Not that he will. 

“Miss Nostrade,” He says, trying to be patient, while she plays with a strand of vibrant hair. “I can’t-,” 

“It’s supposed to be an exchange, isn’t it?” Neon says, and her voice is annoyed. “So paint my nails and pay me, and I’ll tell your fortune. Deal?” She extends a hand, and Killua looks at it warily. He doesn’t quite know how to treat Neon, but he does know how to paint nails, and he can pay her, and he wants his fortune badly. So he takes the bottle of dark polish and unscrews the top carefully. 

For a few moments, all that’s in the room is the stinging scent of the nail polish, and the only sound is the brush’s clink against the glass of the bottle. Neon hums a little as she watches Killua paint, and the strokes are soothing. 

There’s a quiet knock on the door, and Neon looks over. “That’ll be Kurapika.” She says. “Come in!” 

The door creaks open, and a man wearing a dark suit enters. He looks frazzled, and he’s holding a large shopping bag. Neon squeals. 

“You got them!” She says, and she almost rips her hands away to clap them before looking down at them in display. “Thank you, ‘Pika!” 

Kurapika scowls. His gray eyes are dark like storm clouds. “They’re downstairs.” He says. “But you called, Miss Nostrade.” His eyes flick to Killua, and there’s suspicion in them. “Who’s this?” 

“Client.” Neon says dismissively, as though he hasn’t just been painting her nails as though they’ve known each other all their lives. “But that’s later. Pikaaaaa, you told me that you’d bring your friends!” 

“They’re downstairs.” Kurapika repeats, and he looks slightly pained as he sets the bags down gingerly. “I can bring them upstairs, if you’d prefer.” 

“Yeah!” Neon says excitedly. “Trust me on this. Killua here-,” 

“Mr. Zoldyck.” Killua snaps, but either she doesn’t hear him or she’s ignoring him at this point. “I would really prefer Mr. Zoldyck.” 

Kurapika’s eyebrows shoot upwards. They're alone in the room, and he’s done nothing to arouse suspicion, but Killua is already looking for a potential exit, a way out-and his options are limited. The name ‘Zoldyck’ clearly means something to this man, and he doesn't plan on sticking around long enough to find out what. 

Kurapika says nothing, though. 

Killua does not relax. 

“He’s paying me,” Neon says, and her voice has gone whiny and sour. “Ugh, Kurapika, can’t you do this thing for me, just this once? You never do anything I say!” She stamps her foot against the mahogany floors, and Kurapika closes his eyes, as though this type of occurrence is quite common. 

“You have issued no requests since I’ve arrived, Miss Nostrade.” Kurapika replies evenly, and his voice is calm. “If you’d like me to fetch them-,” 

“Yes!” It’s instantaneous, and she brightens and turns back to Killua. “Did I say to stop painting?” 

“No.” Killua says, but he doesn’t start again. “Who are these friends? I didn’t agree to an open reading.” 

“They are also members of the Hunter Association.” Kurapika cuts in before Neon can say anything. “And you needn’t worry. They won’t say anything about-,” 

“And I’m just supposed to trust you,” Killua says, lip curling. “Seeing as we’re such good friends.” 

Kurapika dips his head in a nod. “I take your point.” 

“Good.” Killua says, and Neon rolls her eyes as though she’s been waiting for them to agree this entire time. “Miss Nostrade.” He turns to her coldly. “I paid for a fortune telling. So far, you’ve led me here so that I can paint your nails and your bodyguard can invite his friends upstairs for tea. I think I’ll be leaving now.” 

“Awwww,” Neon scrunches up her nose. “Are you sure? I could still tell your fortune, you know. I’m almost done anyway.” 

Killua freezes. 

“What?” He says, voice quiet and deadly. 

“Yeah!” Neon says casually, waving her stupid pink notebook in his face. “I did it while you were doing my nails, you know! I had one hand free, silly! And if you give me a few more minutes, I could finish. I’m almost done.” 

“Almost done.” Killua repeats. His instincts are warring-is it worth it staying here for another few minutes while three Hunters burst into the room and disrupt the fragile balance that he and Neon have built? 

It turns out that he doesn’t have much of a choice, because there’s a knock on the door, and Kurapika’s head swings around as a voice calls out from the other side. 

“Kurapika? We brought up the rest of the bracelets you wanted! And I think Gon’s allergic to something out here, so you better let us in soon.” 

“Let them in.” Neon says casually, and she loosens her iron grip on her pen to gesture at the door. 

Killua keeps painting, and the door swings open. Two men stand in the doorway. One of them is insanely tall and carrying a briefcase and three giant shopping bags. The other is itching his neck and grimacing at the boxes that he’s got in his arms. They both wear the insignia of the Hunter Association. They both stare at Killua. 

“Miss Nostrade,” Kurapika says, regaining his voice. “These are my friends. Leorio and Gon.” Each one waves as their name is called. Killua doesn’t say a single word the entire time. 

“Awww, Kurapika!” The shorter one says, turning his gaze towards the middle of the room and pouting. “You should’ve told us she had a client! We would’ve come back!” 

“She was the one who requested your presence.” Kurapika says. “Not me. If you’d like for them to come back, Miss Nostrade-,” 

“No!” Neon rips two pages out of her book and thrusts them at Killua. She looks like she’s about to cry. “Did you get the things I asked for? I thought that Pika would have a hard time doing it on his own, and I didn’t know if he had any friends, so I asked him to bring some. Did you get them?” 

“We got some things.” Kurapika says quickly. “We got the ornaments you requested, as well as the items of a more personal nature.” 

“You know,” Neon says, sulking now. “It’s okay to just call them what they are. A pair of eyes isn’t going to be anything _different_ just because you don’t say it.” Her eyes glitter with something Killua can’t read. “Which one of you has them? I want to see!” She claps both hands together and smears blue nail polish all over one hand. 

“Leorio, I think.” Kurapika looks at him, and he nods, pulling a jar out of the plastic bag and handing it to Neon. It’s wrapped in several layers of thick paper, and Kurapika does not look at it very deliberately. 

“May I leave?” Killua asks, and it’s not really a question. He’s got what he needs from Neon, and there’s no sense in hanging around these freaks. Not that he’s any better. 

“Mm.” Neon says. “Leave your money and the rest of the nail polish on the dresser, okay? Okay.” Her eyes are glued to the fingers and locks of hair that are strewn in front of her. 

“Okay.” Killua repeats, and he opens his pockets and dumps a few hundred Jenny on the table. The sheets are still in his hands, but he does not look at them. He doesn’t trust himself to. 

Something burns itself against his thigh, and he freezes. 

It’s just for a moment, but it’s the bottle that Melody gave him. He didn’t even take it, so he’s not sure how it got here, but it burns before shattering silently against his pocket into a million shards of glass. 

Ignore it, Killua tells himself, and then folds the papers neatly and walks out of the room without further incident. Escaping down to the lobby of Neon’s enormous hotel building is an easy matter, but when he finally pulls the papers apart, Killua realizes that he has bigger issues than escaping from Neon Nostrade.

The papers are covered in stickers, and Killua wants to scream. 

She must have given him the wrong ones. That’s the only explanation, because the two sheafs of paper that he currently clutches are not fortune or fate, they are simply pink with glitter shone across them and there are several numbers written in the corner, probably one of Neon’s phone numbers or something, and a shitton of stickers on them. 

He can’t call anybody, because Alluka is God knows where. He can’t talk to anybody, because he has no friends that are still in this life. 

Sinking down into the cushions, Killua buries his head in his hands and lets his mind wander, before a voice pulls him out of his trance. 

“Hello!” He looks up to see one of Kurapika’s Hunter friends standing above him, holding out a gold-tinted bottle that he could have sworn had broken moments earlier. “Is this yours?” 

***

Gon Freecs was invited, technically speaking. 

He’d been helping on the edges of the Association, and Kurapika had asked for a favor, and so he’s here now, helping out. Neon Nostrade is a handful who makes Kurapika’s eyes go angry and despairing, but she’s the person that he goes shopping for and lets play with his hands and paint his nails and so he’s here. 

And so is a strange man. A client. Definitely a client. And yet, he makes Gon cock his head and wonder what such a beautiful person is doing in a dump like Yorkshin. 

“Yes.” The man in front of him says, snatching the bottle out of his hands. “That’s mine.” 

“Just checking!” Gon says cheerfully, and he tries to ignore the warmth that gathers in his chest when he looks at this man, because it’s completely irrational and he doesn’t understand it and maybe that’s okay. Maybe. 

“Yeah, well.” The other man looks at him warily. “You’ve checked. Goodbye.” He rises and starts to walk away, muttering something to himself. Gon doesn’t know if something has possessed him, though he’ll swear later that he did it of his own accord. 

“What’s your name?” 

The man stops walking and turns around slowly. “What?” 

“Your name! You know mine because Kurapika said it, but I don’t know yours.” 

His eyes are really blue, like a dark ocean, and they’re fixed on his before the other man gives him a nod. “Killua.” He says, and then he’s gone, walking back towards the door. 

“Ki-lu-a.” Gon tests the name on his tongue. It’s nice. Killua is nice-weird, but nice. Gon tries to make a point of giving his name and asking for others’ names, because too often, people think of Hunters as big bad officials sticking their noses where they don’t belong. 

That’s not what they are, at least not most of the time. 

Killua doesn’t turn around. He walks out the lobby doors, and Gon watches his back as he goes. 

***

Kurapika looks exhausted when Gon gets back up to the hotel room. His eyes are drawn, and Leorio is with Neon, who’s sleeping on the bed with a lock of hair pressed to her chest like a teddy bear. He’s cleaning up various articles of clothing that are strewn on the floor. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, and Kurapika nods. 

“Just tired.” He says with a yawn. “And you? What made you run out so suddenly?” 

“Not much.” Gon says quietly. He knows that if they wake Neon, she won’t be happy or forgiving. “Just returning something.” 

“Oh.” Kurapika shrugs. “Fair enough.” He stands and casts a glance back towards Neon. “You can go back to your room, if you’d like. I won’t ask you to stay any longer, now that she’s asleep. I really don’t mean-,” 

“It’s okay!” Gon says cheerfully. “I don’t mind! You’re my friend, after all.” He gives Kurapika a smile, and Kurapika smiles back, albeit tiredly. 

“Thank you.” He says softly, and Gon leaves with a wave to Leorio.

His rooms are remarkably unadorned. Usually, when people hear that Hunters are staying at their establishments, they go all out, and it’s not that Gon minds, per se, it’s just that it’s...well, it’s unusual not to see it. The bed is neat and orderly, and it reminds him of when he was training with Bisky. She would drill him again and again, and he would collapse at the end of the day into his small bed. It’s familiar, like this, to fall back into the covers. They’re not luxurious or even particularly comfortable. 

But it’s a reminder. 

He still misses Bisky, most days, and he doesn’t even know what she’s doing. 

There’s a quiet knock on his door, and Gon springs off of the bed easily. He flings his jacket back over his shoulders and goes to open it. There’s a man standing there, who looks slightly nervous, and is holding a phone. 

“Mr. Freecss?” 

“That’s me!” Gon smiles broadly, and the man gives him a faint smile in return. He’s still quaking though, and the phone is playing the quiet generic hold ringtone that they give every hotel or pharmacy phone. 

“Good.” The man hands him the phone. “It’s for you. He told us it was urgent.” 

Gon frowns a little, but takes the phone willingly. It’s cool and smooth and he doesn’t know who it could possibly be. Knuckle and Shoot are far, far away, and Palm and Bisky wouldn’t contact him unless there was an emergency. 

Tentatively, slowly, he takes the phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi.” A voice filters down the line, and Gon _knows_ that he can place this voice from somewhere. He knows. “Gon Freecss?” 

“That’s me.” Gon repeats, and he waves the man goodbye, closing the door softly and collapsing onto the bed with the phone still in one hand. “Who is this?” 

“Um, this is Killua. Zoldyck. We met downstairs.” 

Gon nearly drops the phone.

He scrambles to regain his grip on it, and fails somewhat miserably, letting it fall to the floor with a clatter. Killua keeps talking, but it’s indistinguishable from the racket that he’s currently stirring, and when he finally pops up again with the phone in his hand, Killua is asking a question. 

“Would you be willing to help me?” 

“With what?” Gon asks, running a hand through his hair. “Ah, sorry Killua, I dropped the phone. Could you repeat that real quick?” 

Killua huffs softly, but he repeats it. “I know that you’re a Hunter, and I’m willing to pay you, but I need to Pass On, and I need somebody to do it with. It’s a curse of some sort.” 

“Pass On?” Gon shakes his head. “I don’t-when? You realize that you don’t have to Pass On until you’ve-and you don’t need anybody else? There’s just so many-,” 

“Listen.” Killua snaps, and his voice is fraught. “I have a person waiting for me in Masadora, Mr. Freecss. And I’ve been cursed by my family. I need somebody else to Pass On with me. It’s a little complicated, but I only need to know if you’re willing. Yes or no?” 

“I-You-I-,” Gon splutters. This is one of the strangest requests he’s ever received. “I, um. Can I think about it? Can I hear more about it? When?” 

There’s a sound that sounds suspiciously like Killua sighing on the other end of the phone. Then-

“Yes.” He says, clearly reluctant. “I can meet you somewhere and tell you more about it. I don’t know Yorkshin very well-is there a place that you’d prefer to meet?” 

“Sure!” Gon says enthusiastically. “I’ll pick you up!” 

“I can just meet you in the lobby of your building.” Killua says flatly. “Tomorrow afternoon. Does that sound acceptable?” 

“Yes.” Gon says. “What do you like?” 

“What?” Killua is clearly caught off-guard, and Gon stifles a laugh. 

“To eat.” He explains. “What do you like to eat?” 

“Oh.” Killua seems baffled. “I don’t know. Why does it matter?” 

“I want to take you someplace that you’ll enjoy, Killua!” Gon knows that he sounds petulant but he can’t help himself. “Not just some old restaurant where you’ll sit there and look at the walls the entire time!” 

“Are you usually like this, Mr. Freecss?” Killua asks, and there’s a little bit of irritation in his voice, but there’s also a little bit of amusement, so Gon figures that it’s okay.

“Mmhmm! Most of the time, anyway. I like for people to enjoy themselves. And you can just call me Gon, you know. I don’t need the whole ‘Mr. Freecss’ thing.” 

“Mm. I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Killua says, and it sounds like a question. 

“See you tomorrow!” Gon says, beaming and giving him a thumbs-up, even though there’s no way that he can see it. 

The phone connection dies, and he squints for a moment, looking at the wall before groaning. He never found out what Killua likes to eat! 

Well. He knows Yorkshin fairly well, after all. And he knows Killua okay. He can work something out. 

Hopefully. 

***

Killua doesn’t really know why he called in the first place, to be honest. Gon Freecss was an anomaly, one that he surely could have ignored. So why not? Why not leave Gon and go to his next appointment, frustrated and upset and barely holding himself together?

The truth is, he knows why. He knows that he could’ve left Gon, but he’s getting desperate. And Melody’s magical bottle led exploded around him, so that has to mean something. It’s a chance, one that Killua’s willing to take.

Alluka is still in Masadora, and there isn’t anything that he can do to change that. She’s long since Passed On, but he doesn’t know if the rest of his family is going to follow her to dispose of her permanently and it’s slowly eating him. He’d promised her. 

Killua doesn’t know why the thought of Passing On still makes his stomach churn a little bit, but he doesn’t really have time to reflect on that right now. 

_I’m coming for you, Alluka._

He straightens his collar a little bit, and pulls one of the doors open. 

Gon Freecss is standing in the lobby. He’s impossible to miss-bright green ensemble, spiky black hair, and brown eyes that dart around, looking for him. He grins wide when he catches sight of Killua, and runs over immediately. 

This is for Alluka. 

“Hi!” Gon says, and he stops short in front of Killua, who gives him a nod. “We’re going to have to hurry a little bit if we want to make it on time, but that’s okay! Follow me!” And he grabs Killua’s wrist and tugs him along, pulling them into a run. 

Killua has no choice but to keep up, lips curling into a smile. It’s been so long since he’s run without the pressure of somebody behind him, pushing him to go harder, faster, better. This is just running for sport, following Gon’s steps, and Gon leads him out of the lobby and down the streets with the ease of somebody who knows Yorkshin, really knows it. 

The wind is strong, and Yorkshin is nothing like anything he’s ever been to, not in all his travels. The streets are narrow and cramped, and there are vendors yelling that their goods are half-price for today only on each corner. There’s a gleam in the pavement that can only be mica and they pass one building that looks like it’s made entirely of Jello squares, a million different colors of glass. 

“Almost there!” Gon calls behind him, and Killua lets out a small laugh as they round another corner, coming up on a restaurant with a bright blue sign outside. 

When they both skid to a stop, they’re both panting, and Killua is surprised to find that he’s happy. He remembers running at home, with his family, and it was hard and cold and unforgiving. 

“We’re here!” Gon beams. “I made a reservation, so we had to run-sorry about that, by the way! You never told me what you like, so I just assumed.” He opens the door, and a small bell rings through the air. The sign says ‘Please Seat Yourselves’, and so they do. Killua opts for a small booth near a window. 

“So tell me.” Gon says, when they’re finally seated and he can turn to face Killua properly. “What is this about? I’ve never heard of anybody needing anybody to Pass On with them before. Usually all you need is to find a way to actually physically get to Masadora.” 

“I have a way.” Killua says. “I just need a person. And a marriage. I told you-it’s a curse.” 

There’s utter silence between them. Killua had tried to slip it in, subtle, as if maybe Gon wouldn’t notice. But of course he does. Of course. 

“A marriage.” Gon says finally. “You need a marriage.” 

“A specific type of marriage.” Killua amends, “I found that out from one of the fortune tellers a few weeks ago. I have to marry a Hunter, otherwise it’s not going to work.” 

“Why a Hunter?” 

“Probably because I’ve always hated Hunters, and I’ve never wanted to get married, despite my parents pleading that I needed to ‘carry on the family line’.” Killua’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “Fuck that. I don’t need to carry on any line, especially not theirs.” 

“Okay.” Gon says slowly. “And why a marriage?” 

“Hell if I know! It’s a curse!” 

“A curse.” Gon repeats, picking at the plastic that’s peeling off of his menu. “Who would curse you so that you couldn’t Pass On without somebody else marrying you? That seems kind of ridiculous.” 

“My family.” Killua snaps, “My family cursed me. I have-,” He stops himself, and Gon looks up, eyes sharp. 

“Killua.” He says, “If you want me to Pass On with you, I will.” 

Killua tilts his head slightly. “You realize that this means that you have to marry me.”

“I realize.” 

“Why?” 

“Why not? I have people that I want to see.” 

“Right.” Killua snorts, and Gon smiles at him a little bit. 

“Plus, I don’t like the idea of leaving somebody as pretty and funny as you are with a curse on your shoulders. That would be rude.” 

Killua turns bright red and buries his head in his hands. “You can’t just say things like that!” 

“Why not?” 

“Because-because-,” Killua sputters, and when he can’t come up with a good reason, he glares at Gon again. “Just because, okay? And what do you want out of this anyway? What are you getting?” 

“I don’t want anything.” Gon says, “Except to know the whole story. I’m not going to marry you and go with you to the afterlife without knowing the whole story. That’s too much to ask.” 

“It’s not a pleasant story.” Killua says, somewhat stiffly. “And it’s one that I don’t usually recount for people.” 

“Fair enough.” Gon says easily. “But I’m not marrying a complete stranger.” 

They sit in silence until the waitress comes and takes their orders. Gon waves her off, saying that he needs another few minutes. Killua orders a chocolate milkshake and nothing else. 

“If you don’t want to tell me about why,” Gon says finally, sounding reluctant, “Then at least tell me a little about yourself?” 

“What do you want to know?” 

“I don’t know! Anything! What’s your favorite color? Ever had any pets? What’s your favorite food?” 

“Blue, probably.” He frowns. “Um. Chocolate? Chocolate should be its own food group. And let’s stay away from the other one.” 

“Fair enough.” Gon laughs a little bit. “Chocolate should be its own food group, huh?” 

“God, yes. Have you ever tasted those dark chocolate truffles with the caramel and salt?” It’s like somebody’s flipped a switch in him, suddenly, and he can’t stop talking. “And let’s be honest, vegetables are overrated anyway.” 

This makes Gon throw his head back and laugh, a for real laugh. Killua flushes a little, and ducks his head, because he’s not known for making people laugh and Gon’s laugh is bright and boisterous and strangely attractive. 

“What about you?” He asks, because it’s a little weird, being the only one barring himself. 

“What about me, Killua?” Gon’s smile widens. 

“What’s your...I don’t know, what’s your favorite color or favorite food or something like that?” 

Gon laughs again, although it’s not nearly as strong as it had been the moment before. “I don’t know! I’ve never thought too much in-depth before about it, to be honest.” 

“I would’ve guessed green.” Killua says, dragging his eyes from Gon’s jacket down to his boots, which are scuffing the tile of the shop. 

“Mm,” Gon says. “It’s not, though. I like a lot of colors. Palm used to say that I was indecisive.” 

“Palm?” 

“Palm Siberia.” Gon explains. “She’s a Hunter, too! She’s back in the capital, though. Said that I should come here, because I told her that I wanted to see Kurapika. We used to date, too.” He adds as an afterthought. 

“How’s that been working out?” Killua muses.

“Used to, Killua. Not anymore. We broke it off. It wasn’t working.” 

“I didn’t mean the dating! I meant with Neon Nostrade and Kurapika.” 

“Ohhhh.” Gon draws out the word. “It’s going okay. Neon’s a Flesh Collector, see, and Kurapika can’t stand it. But it’s a job, and it’s where he’s been assigned, so he’s here now. She’s a handful. There’ll be times where she threatens to Pass On just to piss off her father and get the bodyguards to do what she wants.” 

“She has a way?” 

“She says she does.” 

There’s a silence. 

“What about you?” Gon repeats. “I want to know. Why are you so eager to Pass On?” 

Killua takes a deep breath, and, against every instinct in his body, opens his mouth and starts to talk. 

“My sister is there.” He tries to explain, and digs his nails into his palms hard. His entire life he’s been taught that Alluka is a secret. He knows she’s not, of course, but old habits die hard. 

_Don’t talk about it, Killu. It’s not something that we bring outside of the house._

“A sister!” Gon looks excited. “I always wished that I could have siblings. What’s her name?” 

“Alluka.” Killua says carefully. “She’s Passed On, and I want to follow her. But my family cursed me, so I need somebody else to...someone else. And I’ve been to god-knows-how-many witch doctors and sorceresses and they can’t break it. So I need your help. I need to get to her.” 

“Okay.” Gon says thoughtfully, looking out the window. “Okay. Your sister. Tell me about her?” 

Killua scowls. “I’ve told you why I need your help. Are you going to help me or do I need to find somebody else?” 

“I can help you!” Gon says quickly, and he turns to face Killua again. “I can definitely help you, Killua. I can Pass On with you. We can find your sister.” 

“Really?” Killua’s still wary. “What do you want in return?” 

“I don’t want anything.” Gon repeats firmly. “I just...let me say goodbye to everybody, okay? And then we’ll go. You said you had a way?” 

“I have a way.” Killua says around the worry in his throat. “You’re sure about this?” 

“Do you not want me to?” Gon asks, brows knit together. “I can stay here, if you’d like. There’s also somebody I’d like to see in the afterlife, you know. This isn’t just for your benefit, Killua. Although it’d be nice to spend more time with you! You’re really interesting. I like you!” 

Killua flushes red and buries his face in his hands. “Don’t just say things like that, idiot!” He hisses, kicking Gon under the table, and ignoring Gon’s small yelp. This is the second time today and this is only the second time they’ve met. 

“It’s true!” Gon says, pouting at him. 

“Still!” Killua glares at him a little bit. “It’s not something that you just say!” 

Gon winks at him. “Well,” He says, “If we’re going to be married, it’s good to be honest with each other, right?” 

Killua thumps his head against the table and groans.

***

“Listen,” Gon says into the phone. “I’ll come back to visit, I promise!” 

“You’re leaving us, though!” Bisky wails, and Gon winces as her voice screeches out of the phone. “Gon, you don’t have to Pass On for another few decades!” 

“I know!” Gon says, leaning against the door and letting out a breath. “I know! But this is a good thing! I can see Kite again!” 

“Gon!” Leorio’s voice is outside. “Open the damn door, kid! We need to talk.” 

“Hold on a minute.” Gon tells Bisky, and he puts the phone on hold for a moment before jumping over the bed to open the door. Leorio towers over him, and his eyes are confused and upset. 

“Kurapika told me that you’re Passing On.” He says slowly. “That true?” 

“Ah, yeah!” Gon smiles, a little weakly, up at him. “Killua needs help, and he says he has a way to get there, which means that he has a way to get back. So I can still come back and visit-,” 

“Kid.” Leorio interrupts. “Who the hell is _Killua?_ ” 

“Oh! You met him a few days ago, didn’t you? Well, I guess you didn’t really get to talk to him, but Kurapika did. He was one of Neon’s clients.” Gon frowns. “Speaking of Neon, shouldn’t you be-,” 

“It doesn’t matter!” Leorio says loudly, and then he takes a deep breath. “Can I come in?” 

“Sure.” Gon opens the door a little wider and Leorio steps through. 

“Gon.” He says, and Gon nods seriously. “This is insane. You can’t actually be thinking about Passing On.” 

“I’m not thinking about it, Leorio.” Gon says quietly. “I’m packing for it.” 

Leorio scrubs a hand across his face. “Why? What the hell is so compelling about a boy you met less than a week ago that you’re willing to-,” 

“I can still visit-,” 

“He’s not-,” 

“Listen to me!” Gon yells, and Leorio looks at him. “Listen to me, please. He’s trying to find his sister. He’s trying to-,” 

“I don’t give a crap what he’s trying to do!” Leorio says, and he turns around like he’s considering leaving. “God, Gon, why on earth would you even consider this? You won’t be required to Pass On for years! You don’t need to-,” 

“Leorio-,”

“No!” Leorio says. “Gon, there is no world-no _universe_ -where this is necessary! You don’t have to do it! I mean, is he-is he forcing you, or something? Is that what this is?” 

“Nobody’s forcing me to do anything.” Gon says easily. “It’s something that I _want_ to do, can’t you see? I want to see Masadora! I want to go on an adventure! I want to help somebody!” 

“I know.” Leorio says, exhausted. “I know, Gon.” 

“Listen,” Gon says eagerly, “This is my chance! I can see Kite again, don’t you see? And he has-,” 

“He has a way, which means he has a way back. I know. I heard it.” Leorio sounds tired, and he looks at Gon. “Are you sure that you _want_ to do this, though?” 

“I’m sure!” Gon says excitedly. “I want to go!” 

Leorio turns around for a moment, and there’s a sound that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle. 

“Leorio?” 

“You gotta come back and visit us, kid.” 

“I will, promise.” 

“Promise.” Leorio repeats. “Okay, Gon. Okay.” 

They stand like that until Leorio makes some excuse about needing to get back to Neon and Kurapika and Gon accepts it and goes back to packing. And as he folds his shirts he doesn’t start to regret the decision just a little bit. 

Nope. 

Not a jot. 

***

“This is your way?” Gon yells, and Killua cracks what feels a little bit like a smile.

“This is my way.” 

“Hello, Mr. Freecss.” Tsubone says. Her face is impassive, and Gon looks up at her in amazement. She towers over them both, and Killua can’t really help the grin that makes its way onto his face. People always get amazed when Tsubone is looking at them. 

“Hi!” Gon waves, and then holds out a hand. “I’m Gon.” 

“Tsubone.” 

“Yes,” Killua interrupts, “And we’re all impatient to get to my little sister, aren’t we, so let’s hurry up and _go_ already.” 

“As you wish, Master Killua.” Tsubone says, bowing low, and Gon laughs, the sound bright and clear, even on a windy clifftop. Tsubone has always needed a little bit of a ramp to get going, and since they’re going to be traveling for a while he suggested that they meet here instead.” 

“Killua, you have a butler?” 

“He used to have several.” Tsubone informs him, “But then Master Killua went and got himself disowned, so now he only has myself.” 

“Disowned?” Gon looks at Killua. “You didn’t tell me that part.” 

“It’s not important.” Killua mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets. “They kicked me out after I said I was going after Alluka. That’s it. That’s the story.” 

Actually, there had been a bit more than that, where they’d tried to keep Alluka in a basement in the family mansion, and the part where they’d called her a monster and a menace and deliberately sent her to Masadora before her time. There was the part where Killua had gone into a rage and nearly killed everybody within a fifteen mile radius. And then there was, of course, the part where they told him to never step foot inside the gates of the mountain while he was still on this earth. 

But Gon doesn’t need to know any of that. 

“I’m sorry.” Gon says. 

“Don’t be.” Killua says shortly. “They were assholes and I’m glad that they’re out of our lives. Tsubone can come back to this world, so if you ever want to come back, now would be the time to voice those concerns. I don’t need somebody to stay with me, I just need somebody to get me there.” He doesn’t mention anything else, not yet. Not quite yet. 

Tsubone shoots him a look.

“I’m not sure.” Gon says cheerfully, and Killua gapes at him. 

“What?” 

“Oh, I’m definitely coming back!” Gon holds up both his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Don’t get me wrong there, Killua. I’m definitely coming back. But I’ve also got somebody that I’d like to see in Masadora, so….I think I’ll be staying there for a while.” 

“That’s good.” Killua says blankly, trying to think about how he’s going to find Alluka if he’s got a boy hanging onto his arm the whole time. “That’s, um. That’s good.” 

“I’m glad.” Gon says sincerely. He takes a deep breath. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

“Tsubone?” Killua turns to her, and she looks back at him expectantly. “Are you-,” 

“Ready, Master.” Tsubone says, and she takes a deep breath and there’s a blast of light from between them. It’s loud and long and when it’s over, there’s a horse in front of them, and Gon stares for a moment before looking back at Killua. 

“You’ve got to be joking.” 

“My family is traditional.” Killua mutters, and he seems defensive all of a sudden. 

“So we’re riding a horse. That’s actually your butler.” 

“Yes.” Killua says decidedly, and Gon stares at him again. 

“She’ll get tired. We’ll be on her back. You can’t actually think that this is a good idea, Killua.” Gon is serious all of a sudden, and Killua bites back a groan of frustration. 

“You’re so frustrating. It’ll be fine. Tsubone was trained to be able to carry five of us at a time. And she feeds off of our stamina and energy as we move. We can make a straight shot to Masadora.” 

“You’re joking.” 

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Killua asks, thoroughly irritated. “This is a magical horse that my family has owned since she was born. We’re going to ride her to the afterlife. I’m going to find my sister, and you’re going to find your...your person, and then I need you to marry me but then we don’t have to see each other ever again!” 

“Master Killua.” Tsubone interrupts, and her voice is brittle and quiet. 

“What the fuck is it now?” 

“You must be married when you enter Masadora.” 

There’s a short silence where Killua wonders what would happen if he jumped off of the nearest tree. He wonders whether Alluka would wonder where he was forever.  
Gon is still staring at Tsubone and then he starts and looks at Killua again, smiling tentatively. 

“Killua,” He says, and Killua turns around, still slightly dumbstruck. 

“What?” 

“I know a woman who could officiate. She’s done weddings before. She has a license. I think, anyway.” Gon scrunches up his nose. “She’s nice.” 

“Are you serious?” Killua is genuinely disbelieving now, eyes wide open and hands still twisted into each other in what looks to be an extremely complicated knot of pale skin. “Are you being serious, Gon?” 

“I’m always serious.” Gon says, and he certainly doesn’t look it at the moment, all gold eyes and glowing skin and lips pressed together as though he’s trying to suppress a laugh. It takes Killua’s breath away momentarily, and then he looks away, scowling at himself and his mind. 

“Who’s this woman you know?” He asks reluctantly. 

“Bisky! Well, her name is really Biscuit. Biscuit Krueger.” Gon says, and he starts to dig around in his pockets, evidently for his phone. “She’s really nice, once you get to know her! Pretty-ugh-pretty strict though.” He’s extracted his phone by now and is hitting various buttons to get the damn thing unlocked. 

“Strict, huh.” Killua mumbles, and Tsubone shoots him a look. He knows that now’s not the time. “So we’ll be camping out here for another few days, I suppose.” 

“Yeah!” Gon says, eyes bright and excited. “Yeah. Okay. Bisky!” He says into the phone, and there’s a woman’s voice on the other side, yelling something at him, and Killua turns away because that’s not his conversation to hear. 

Not now, at least. 

“Mhm! I haven't yet….you got an officiant license, right? Yes….okay, I need you to come out here in a few days. It's not a big-no, Bisky, don't-just-make sure that you come alone okay? It'll be a small thing. Okay. I'll see you soon!” He hangs up, smiling fondly. 

“Who was that?” Killua asks, and Gon turns to him, smiling open and wide. 

“Bisky! She trained me. She’s the officiant that I told you about!” 

“I see,” Killua says, even though he doesn’t really. “When can she be here?” 

“Bisky travels fast,” Gon says thoughtfully, and he glances at the sky and wrinkles his nose absentmindedly. “I don’t know. Two days? Three days? And we can just have it here, I guess, so that we can head out straight afterwards.” 

“You don’t care about finding a hotel or something?” Killua asks. “Somewhere we won’t get wet if it rains?” He can’t keep the surprise out of his voice-he’d have thought that Gon, who seems to thrive in big cities, would be one of those people who can’t stand any kind of inclement weather.

“Nope! I like the outdoors, Ki-lu-a.” Gon traces the edges of his jacket, and sinks down onto one of the large stones surrounding them. “Besides, I’m not picky about getting wet. We can find a tree or something?” 

Killua throws his head back and laughs. 

He doesn’t remember the last time he laughed out of pure pleasure. Probably when Alluka hadn’t Passed On yet. Probably before he left. Maybe never. His memory isn’t great. 

“A tree,” He gasps, and Gon looks puzzled. “Yeah, okay. We’ll find a tree, Gon.” He doesn’t even know quite why it’s funny-it’s only that this ridiculous boy is amusing in a world where Killua does not have many sources of amusement. And it seems to make Gon smile as well, so maybe that’s a bonus, because Killua has found that he enjoys seeing Gon’s smile, frequent though it is. 

That’s different. Tsubone stands off to the side, and Killua turns to her, still half laughing. 

“We’ll call you back when we’re ready, yeah?” He says to her briskly, and she bows her head in a nod. “Shouldn’t be too long. All I need is the marriage and we’ll be off.” There’s something exhilarating about knowing that the curse is not long for this world, and that soon he’ll be able to see his sister. God. 

“Very well.” Tsubone says, and she bows low before disappearing in a blur of plum-colored fabric into the trees 

As Killua watches her go, he thinks about all the things that he’s missed while he’s been searching for somebody who’s actually willing to marry him. How many springs, how many autumns, how many summers. 

It’ll be coming to an end soon enough. 

He turns back to Gon, and narrows his eyes. “So what’s this about sleeping in trees, hmm?” 

***

They’re less than two days in and there’s already a problem.

Killua Zoldyck is a presence that can’t be ignored-his step carries weight wherever he goes, and this become immediately obvious after spending less than ten hours straight with the other man. He’s not subtle about anything, but always gives the impression that he’s hiding something. He’s a solid presence next to Gon every time he speaks, and his voice is rough with something that sounds like disbelief. He stays pointedly away from topics relating to his family. He’s quick and efficient at anything that he does, and for the most part he ignores Gon altogether.

That’s not the problem, though. 

The problem is a very simple one.

The problem is that Killua is gorgeous and clever and talented and Gon can’t help but remember that it’s been years since he last dated Palm and actually was interested in another person. The problem is that whenever Killua’s dark blue eyes cut across to meet his, for however brief a time, Gon feels something twist in his stomach, and he has to fight to urge to smile. The problem is that that Killua’s got a crease in between his eyes whenever they narrow, and it’s absolutely adorable. 

And now, the problem is that Killua looks at him in concern and says things like “Gon? Are you paying attention to _anything_ that I’m saying?” 

“Hm?” Gon looks up. “Yes! Sorry, Killua!” 

“It’s fine, dummy.” Killua looks up in exasperation and Gon tilts his head to the side to see the sunlight reflect off of his silvery hair and _God_. Killua really is beautiful. “I was just asking you if your friend is coming alone or if she’s bringing a horde with her.” 

“Oh! I think she’s coming alone.” Gon wrinkles his nose. “Bisky’s not one for hordes. She’d much rather kick their asses.” Killua laughs, the sound rough. 

“That’s good.” He says, and he turns back to where Gon has been drawing nonsense in the dirt of the mountains with long sticks. “What is that even supposed to be?” 

“It’s us!” Gon says, and he points them out. “See, that’s you! I gave you the hair and everything!” 

“What the hell?” Killua examines the drawing a little closer. “That is _not_ how my bangs look.” 

“Is too!” Gon protests. “And that’s one’s me.” He points out a small spiky-haired figure. “I could’ve drawn your butler, or Bisky, but I thought that might be a bridge too far.” 

“Several bridges.” Killua says, and he scuffs out his hair. “Give me the stick.” 

Gon obligingly hands it over, and Killua snaps it in half like a pencil. His strokes are swift as he sketches, and he ends up scuffing out most of himself and Gon, too, before he’s done. The only sound besides the wind is the scritch-scratch of that makeshift pencil, steady and sure against the dirt. 

“There.” Killua says, leaning back. “Better.” 

Gon takes a look and pouts. “That’s not fair, Killua! You didn’t tell me you were an artist!” 

“I’m not,” Rolling his eyes, Killua begins to sketch out the rest of Gon, occasionally looking up and narrowing his eyes as though he’s trying to focus in on something. “I just learned the basic study of anatomy when I was a kid. Eyes aren’t that big, Gon.”

“They’re not _that_ big!” 

“Mmhm. I don’t think I can see anything else on the face. And you need to draw legs that aren’t just two lines, if you want it to look accurate.” He sticks his tongue out for a moment and smudges some of his arm off. 

“How did you learn anatomy?” Gon asks, and he leans back as Killua continues to draw with the stick. “Did you have drawing teachers?” 

“No, I-no.” Killua shoots a glare at the pencil, and the lines get deeper in the dirt as he presses down furiously. 

“This is unfair.” Gon mutters, and he flops down on his stomach next to Killua. “Downright unfair.” Killua doesn’t deign that with a response. 

But maybe that’s a good thing, because it gives Gon an excuse to look at his hands, which are long and slender and elegant. He wonders if he’ll ever run out of things to like about Killua. One thing at a time, until the list is empty. 

Which might be never. Who knows? 

“Finished.” Killua says after a while, and Gon looks over. His likeness is sketched into the dirt, but all that Killua’s drawn of himself is the hair. The bug eyes and stick legs and shoulders that are probably completely out of proportion are Gon’s still. But Killua’s added a woman in the background with choppy hair and a long dress who holds a stuffed animal and smiles widely. Gon’s eyes widen.

“Who’s that?” He asks, curious, pointing to it. 

“That’s Alluka,” Killua says. “You’ll get to meet her in a few days. She likes meeting new people. And I think that she’ll be, um, glad to know that I made a friend.”  
It takes Gon a second to register the impact of those words. When he does, he smiles wide, and Killua flushes and stares at the ground. It’s a pretty red color that lights up his pale cheeks, and Gon never tires of seeing it. Which is good, because it appears every time he says something nice about his companion. 

And then there’s a rustling in the bushes behind them and Biscuit Krueger’s voice echoes out of the undergrowth. 

_“Gon Freecss! Where are you?”_

Gon gulps, and Killua immediately springs into a defensive position as Bisky appears, scowling at him furiously, and hands on her hips. Her hair is up in some sort of braided bun that seems overly complicated, but Gon has seen the things that Bisky does with her normally, and all things considered this isn’t too bad. 

“Bisky!” He says weakly, and she stomps up to him, a single large purse over her arm. 

“You!” She yells, “You could stay here for another thirty years! More! Fifty years! But no, you call me a week ago and tell me that you’re Passing On without saying goodbye properly! And then you call again, not two days later and say that you’re getting _married_ and you need me to officiate?” 

“That’s right?” Gon wishes it didn’t sound so much like a question. Killua hasn’t moved from his position, but he tilts his head in confusion when Bisky seizes Gon in a giant hug. 

“After Palm,” She whispers, “I didn’t know if you wanted to find someone else. But I’m glad you did.” And she lets him go abruptly. “Well! Is this your fiancée?” 

“Oh-no-it’s not-,” he tries to protest, not quite knowing what he’s protesting, but Killua still looks like he could beat somebody up if they got too close to him. “I’m just helping him get to Masadora! It’s not-we’re not really engaged!” 

“You’re not?” Bisky says, face a mask of confusion. 

“No.” Killua says gruffly, and he looks her dead in the eyes. “I need his help to break a curse.” 

Bisky frowns. “What kind of a curse needs marriage?” 

“One designed specifically for you by your family,” Killua bites out the words, and Gon scrambles to his feet. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ask again, Ms. Krueger.” 

“How much time do you two need to get everything together?” She asks after a beat of silence where Gon looks at his feet and rocks back and forth and Killua glares. 

“What?” He asks, and she frowns severely at him. 

“Preparations. I don’t mind officiating, but I’m not marrying two people in the middle of a forest while they’re wearing-,” 

“Bisky!” Gon interrupts, because Killua’s glare has gotten even more furious. 

“What?” She snaps. “You asked for a wedding, Gon. I’ll give you a wedding, but I’ll give you a proper one. None of this.” 

“Listen up,” Killua starts, and Bisky whips around to face him. “I’m not-,” 

“I’m officiating,” Bisky says, “And at the very least, you both need a shower. You’re Passing On after this, correct? You both need to look presentable. I shouldn’t even have to tell Gon this!” She adds, and he chuckles nervously. 

“Sorry, Bisky.” 

“Damn straight. Go into town. Take a shower. I’ll have this set up when you get back.” She turns them away, and Gon looks at Killua, who’s still glaring. 

“Killua?” He says tentatively. 

“Fine.” Killua says, “Fine. Let’s go.” And he begins to run towards the city. 

“Killua-wait, Killua!” Gon follows him quickly. Killua is fast but so is Gon-he trained under some of the best Hunters in the Association. Anybody but Ging, of course. 

But as they run past trees and undergrowth and near civilization again, Gon is reminded of the last few days with Killua, and what he knows. Maybe Bisky had been too much. Maybe this whole thing is just one big mistake. Maybe he shouldn’t Pass On. Not even to see-

He stops that train of thought and speeds up. Killua is tense, and that makes him slower-this way, Gon is able to let loose just a little more and catch him.  
And then they’re out of the forest, and Killua is glaring at him with those brilliant blue eyes and Gon realizes that he might have bigger issues than just the fact that Killua is being more distant now that Biscuit is here, because he’s about to marry this man. 

Well. 

“Why are you upset?” He asks instead, because that’s the more pressing issue and he shouldn’t be thinking about Killua’s beautiful eyes and morning sharpness and his hands that sketched Gon just moments ago. 

“I’m not.” Killua says. “Let’s go, okay?” 

They run towards town, and Gon tries not to think too hard about it. 

***

When Gon and Killua return to the forest clearing, both clean and Killua looking markedly less tense as he keeps his eyes fixed towards Masadora, it is covered in flowers. 

There are blue and red petals strewn across the outcropping and over rocks and trees, and the wind stirs them gently but they don’t move. A small circle of rocks has been set up between two large trees, and Bisky stands there, sniffling and holding a small pocketbook that’s bound in leather. 

“You’re back!” She says as soon as she sees them, but Gon doesn’t think that he could respond even if he wanted to. It’s beautiful and natural and he loves it. 

“Bisky...it’s perfect.” 

“I know.” She says gruffly, and then wipes at her eyes again. “Both of you, stand in the middle of the circle. I can marry you here and then you can be on your way.”  
Killua still hasn’t said a word, and Gon turns to him tentatively. 

“Killua?” 

“Yeah?” 

“What do you think?” 

“It’s not a big deal.” Killua shrugs it off, but Gon catches a glimpse of something behind his eyes that looks a little like gratitude. It’s the first time that he thinks about why Killua is really doing this-it’s all for his sister, all for Alluka. 

Bisky doesn’t say anything, but her gaze is sharp as she looks at Killua. 

“Are you going to give a speech?” He asks her suddenly, and she blinks. 

“Yes,” The reply is instant. “I was taught to officiate in the proper way, you know. I’ll not be doing this halfway, even if it’s the way that you’d prefer.” 

They step easily into the circle of stones, and she clears her throat and begins speaking. The wind picks up and dies down in intervals, but Bisky’s voice never wavers-she speaks of courage, of love, of journeys made together.

When she finishes, Killua’s eyes are still trained firmly on the ground. He hasn’t said a word the entire time, and Gon reaches out and takes his hand gently. The shocking thing is that Killua doesn’t pull away, doesn’t snap at him that he’s fine. He takes it and looks at Gon. 

And Gon, making a dumb split-second decision, leans in and kisses him gently on the lips. It’s not much of a kiss, to be honest, but he’s seen weddings, and this seems like the kind of thing that you’re supposed to do. 

It’s nice, though.

Killua is still against him, and when Gon pulls back his eyes are wide. 

A giant sniff brings them back to reality, and Bisky blows her nose loudly in front of them. 

“I can’t believe it!” She says, and it’s muffled beneath her enormous handkerchief. “Gon Freecss just got married. Palm will be so s-surprised. We’re going to miss you so much.” 

“Heh.” Gon scratches the back of his head and drops his hand out of Killua’s. “Yeah, I guess.” He turns back to Killua. “We should go?” 

“We should go.” Killua confirms quietly. “Tsubone?” He says it like a question, but immediately she’s beside him, so fast that Gon’s eyes can’t see the transition. 

“I’m here, Master Killua.” 

“We’re-we’re ready to leave.” Killua says. He’s not looking at Gon, and Gon feels a snake of worry start to form in the pit of his stomach. 

“Very well.” Tsubone says, despite the fact that Biscuit is staring at her in utter surprise. 

“Is that a Fey butler?” She breathes, and comes closer to Tsubone. “Ohhhhh, you are! I’m Biscuit!” She sticks out a hand, and Tsubone looks her over twice. “Biscuit Krueger.” 

“Tsubone.” The butler takes her hand somewhat delicately, and Bisky pumps it eagerly. 

“You-,” 

“All right.” Killua interrupts, and he sounds more like his normal self now. Gon relaxes a little bit at this. “All right, we all want to get this show on the road. Tsubone, you can visit Bisky some other time, okay?” 

“As you wish, Master.” Tsubone bows low, and there’s that flash of light that’s so dramatic and colorful before a horse stands before them. 

“She’s a shapeshifter!” Bisky gushes “That’s so fascinating! You’re truly beautiful, you know? Lots of potential!” 

Tsubone ducks her head, and Gon thinks there might be a sort of a pleased look on her face as she does so. 

Killua, meanwhile, has jumped aboard, and is offering a hand to Gon. “Ready?” He asks, and Gon can’t help but smile brilliantly. 

“Ready!” He says, and Killua pulls him up quickly. “Anytime you want. Goodbye, Bisky!” He waves eagerly to her, and she looks up at him. 

“You said you’d visit, Gon Freecss,” She says, although her eyes look watery. “So I expect you to follow up on that!” 

“I will, Bisky!” 

There’s a moment where Killua stares at his hands and then he looks her right in the eyes, blue eyes narrowed. It’s still a pretty look on him. 

“Thank you.” He says, and Biscuit makes a noise of surprise before crossing her arms. 

“Don’t mention it.” She says, “Now go find your sister!” 

Killua gives her a brief nod, and Tsubone backs up before running at the cliff at full speed. It’s all Gon can do to hold onto Killua tight as they barrel over the edge, onto the sea, where Tsubone gallops as if it’s a flat plain. It’s calm and the wind is loud, but the feeling of adrenaline in his heart is a sort of eye of the storm. 

The sea breeze is cold, and the sun is warm as it sets. 

***

Killua can’t really imagine what will happen when they get there. He keeps trying to imagine Alluka on the banks of Masadora, but it’s never right in his mind, because something keeps rising up and smothering all of his thoughts and that’s the sensation of Gon’s slightly chapped lips on his. 

He doesn’t know why Gon kissed him. He doesn’t know if it means something to him, or to Gon. He can’t bring himself to think about Biscuit. 

He can’t think about anything. For the first time in a long time, when Gon kissed him, his mind was completely blank. 

“Killua!” Gon yells from behind him, and Killua turns around, having forgotten, somehow, that Gon’s arms are wrapped around his waist and that they’re running at top speed towards the Isle of Death and Dreams. 

Masadora. 

He thinks of Alluka. 

_I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming._

“What?” 

“How much longer until we get there?” 

Killua can’t help but stifle a groan. “Not much longer, you dumbass! Tsubone is part-Fey, like Biscuit said. She’ll get us there before tomorrow morning.” 

“Tomorrow morning?” The dismay on Gon’s face is evident, and Killua scowls furiously at him. 

“Yes, tomorrow morning! Would you rather swim to the afterlife?” 

“No.” Gon mutters, so low that Killua almost doesn’t catch it, and he grips Killua tighter, resting his head against Killua’s shoulder. “I’m going to sleep, then.” 

“Fine.” Killua snaps, “You do that.” 

There’s silence for a long time after that. He loses track of how fast time goes by, loses track of the stars in the sky that appear and the dark blanket that envelopes them overhead. He doesn’t know if he’d be able to appreciate it anyway, not with Gon’s head on his shoulders and his foghorn snoring in his ears. 

Because honestly, Gon Freecss snores like a giant grizzly bear. 

It’s distracting. It’s noisy. It’s annoying. 

It’s also kind of endearing. 

Killua wants to slap himself. Or Gon. Either would be a good choice. He doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that Gon is currently draped over him and sleeping and he wants to wake him up and press their lips together again, just to make sure that it hadn’t been some sort of bizarre fluke the first time around. 

He doesn’t know. 

But then there’s an island coast in the distance, and he yells with triumph as they near it. Finally, finally, finally. He made it. He made it, with Gon’s deafening snores and Tsubone’s endless stamina and the seawater effectively soaking through his shoes. 

It’s not ideal, but _God_ does he feel invincible. 

“We made it!” He screams, and Gon starts awake behind him. “Gon, Gon, we made it! That’s Masadora!” 

Gon wrinkles his nose. “Doesn’t that mean that we’re technically dead?” He yells, and Killua turns around to glower furiously at him, but he can’t even keep that on for too long. He can only think of Alluka. She’s so close. 

They’re nearing the beach, and Tsubone is losing speed, and Killua almost jumps off her back right then, but he refrains until they’re up on the beach, and then he spring off and whoops loudly. 

“We made it!” 

“Yeah!” Gon jumps down next to him, and Killua grabs his shoulders and smashes their mouths together, still high off of the joy of finally reaching his destination. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He just knows that he’s been thinking about this for half the goddamn night, and he’s here and they’re both technically dead so he’s doing whatever the fuck he wants, starting now. 

Gon makes a noise of surprise, but soon enough he’s kissing back, mouth moving under Killua’s, and they’re so close together but it feels like they need to be closer still. And Killua really can’t think again, there’s that blessed blankness that overtakes his mind again. 

And then somebody clears their throat from behind him, and he spins around to see a young woman with choppy brown hair and a pastel colored dress beaming at him. 

“Brother!” Alluka cries, and Killua is running, running, running, leaving Gon and throwing himself towards his sister. 

“Alluka!” He yells, and then she’s running too, throwing her arms around him and she’s alright, she’s okay, she’s here. 

They’re all technically dead, as Gon has so astutely pointed out, but they’re alright. 

“I missed you!” She says, and Killua wraps his arms around her even tighter and lifts her up, spinning her around as she laughs and he tries to keep tears out of his eyes. “I didn’t know when you were coming, but then I sensed Tsubone!” She waves at Tsubone, who has transformed back into her human form, and who waves back. 

“Hello, Mistress Alluka.” She says, voice like gravel and thoroughly exhausted, but satisfied. Killua doesn’t let go of his sister. 

“But how did you get here?” Alluka asks, and she looks up at him in confusion. “I thought you were cursed! That’s what Tsubone said when she last visited.” 

“I broke it.” Killua says, and that’s when he remembers Gon. “I married Gon.” He turns around to face Gon, who still looks stunned, and gestures to his sister. “Gon, this is Alluka. My sister. Alluka, this is Gon.” 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Gon says, and she laughs a little bit when he extends a hand. 

“So formal.” She says, but she takes it and shakes it enthusiastically. “It’s nice to meet you too! So you’re the fiancé!” 

“Technically,” Gon interrupts, and his eyes are glittering with mischief, “I’m the husband.” 

“ _Gon!_ ” Killua groans.

“What?” 

Alluka laughs again, a real laugh, and Killua can’t help but smile at her. It’s been so many years, and he’s so glad to see her again. 

“You have to tell me everything.” He says, “How have things been going here, huh? Have you been doing okay on your own?” 

“It’s been okay. I missed you though,” Alluka says, wrinkling her nose a little bit. “Masadora is actually just like an ordinary city. There’s houses and restaurants and everything else that you’d normally find! Did you eat anything on your way here?” She asks, suddenly concerned, and Gon shakes his head emphatically. 

“Nope.” 

“Now who’s the silly one?” Alluka asks, sticking her tongue out at Killua when he opens his mouth to make some excuse about how it’s been fine. “No excuses, Brother! I’m taking you and Gon to a proper restaurant!” And she runs away from the beach, humming a little bit to herself. 

Gon siddles up beside Killua, and tilts his head to the side a little bit. 

“I like her!” He says finally, and Killua turns to look at him in surprise. 

“What?” 

“Alluka is nice.” Gon says, and Killua blinks furiously.

“Yeah.” He says, “She is.” 

Gon takes Killua’s hand then, twines their fingers together, and Killua starts in surprise. “She’s nice, but here, Killua, listen. Now that we’re actually here, and you’ve found her...I want to stay with you a little longer. Is that okay?” 

“That’s okay.” Killua surprises himself by saying, and Gon smiles and kisses him gently on the cheek. 

“Thank you.” He says softly, and Killua gives him a half-smile. “Let’s go get food, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Killua says, and he squeezes their hands together. They follow Alluka as she tells them about the beaches and the rains and the sunshine, which is brilliant and beautiful and Killua thinks that maybe everything will be okay.

***

The days bleed into weeks, which bleed into months. Killua isn’t sure how much time passes, and he isn’t sure that it much matters-time is different on Masadora anyway. It’s not regular. It moves at its own pace. 

Alluka shows them her small apartment, which is chock-full of knitting needles and soft slippers and an ice cream maker that’s been shoved on top of the fridge for some reason. When Gon asks her about it, she gives him a sideways shrug. 

“I made great ice cream once.” She says thoughtfully, “And I was waiting to use it again! I’m sure I will.” 

There are also endless puzzles, some of which are half done on her coffee table, and a kitten, which slips through her fingers when she pets it. She tells them that his name is Charlie, and Killua immediately forms a bond with it. Gon is slightly more wary.

Gon also sees one of his friends who’s on Masadora. He doesn’t say much about it, either before or after, but when he comes back from it, there’s a determined set to his shoulders and Killua doesn’t press him for what happened. He doesn’t need to know the details.

Killua and Gon spend most of their time in their joint apartment, since they arrived together, and Gon insists on cooking most nights. Every day is something new, and every day he gets to see his sister and his husband. It brings him a strange sense of happiness. 

It’s nice. 

It’s almost too nice to be real.

It’s definitely too nice to be his. 

But he closes his eyes and tries not to think about it. 

***

Gon has lost track of time, but he misses home. 

He doesn’t know when it started. He doesn’t know when he started wishing that Leorio was right next door, or that Palm would be there with Knuckle and Shoot for when he returned from the shop at the corner with groceries. He doesn’t know when it started, but he knows that he can’t stop it. 

Everything is a reminder of his friends. Every shell on the beach seems to scream Palm’s name, every shade of pink and cream in Alluka’s small apartment reminds him of Bisky, and he can’t even look at the goddamn windows anymore, because although they’re full of jewelry that Alluka and Killua like to look at, all he can think of is home, home, home, of Yorkshin and the jewelry displays that would sidetrack Neon and make Kurapika sigh. 

“Are you okay?” Killua asks him, somewhat sharply after he spaces out in the middle of washing a dish, letting the water run over his hands for almost ten minutes before Killua turns the faucet off. 

“I’m fine, Killua,” Gon says, trying to manage a smile. “Just tired.” 

“That’s not it.” Killua says tersely. “I know that’s not it. I’m not blind.” 

Gon doesn’t know what to say. Killua faces him, and the only sound in the kitchen is the quiet drip-drip-drip of the sink. It’s late, too late to be having this conversation. 

“Is it something here?” Killua asks, and his voice is tight. “Is it something that Tsubone could go back and get-,” 

“I miss them.” Gon says abruptly. “It’s not something that you can fix, Killua. It’s great here, really, and I love it a lot and I love you and Alluka a lot-,” Killua draws in a sharp breath here but Gon plows on “But I miss them. I miss them so much. I miss Leorio and Kurapika, and I miss Bisky and Palm and Knuckle and Shoot, and you never even met them! You don’t understand.” 

“I don’t.” Killua says bluntly. “You’re right. But you can’t go back, Gon. You just-you can’t.” 

“You have a way.” Gon says “Which means you have a way back. That’s what I told them. Tsubone can take me, can’t she? And return me.” 

Something flickers in Killua’s eyes. “She can’t.” 

“What?” 

“She can’t.” Killua says, and he hangs his head. “Tsubone can take people to Masadora. She couldn’t take you back. She-,” 

“You’re lying.” Gon says, challenging. “You’re lying. I understand that you don’t want me to leave, but-,” 

“Dammit Gon, of course I don’t want you to leave!” Killua yells, and Gon backs up a step. “I-you-we’re happy! Aren’t we? Aren’t you?” 

Something in Gon’s heart cracks, a tiny hairline fracture that runs up and down. “Yes,” He says, “But I want to see them again. They’re my friends. And we’ve only been here-,” 

“I have to go.” Killua says, and his voice is rough and uneven. “I have to talk to Alluka.” And he leaves, closing the door gently on his way out. 

Gon doesn’t know what to say. He turns the faucet back on, starts to work on the dishes again, and tries not to think about the look on Killua’s face. 

***

“He wants to go _back._ ” Killua says, eyes wide as he paces on the floor of his sister’s apartment. “He wants to go back. Alluka, what do I say? What can I possibly say to that?” 

“I think you should tell him the truth.” She says from where she’s curled on the couch around Charlie and what looks to be a scarf. It reminds Killua of the red scarf that he paid Melody all those months ago, when he was still searching for a way to break his curse. “That seems reasonable. He would probably take it okay.” 

“That can’t be an option.” Killua says. “I can’t. I just can’t. I met his friends. I know what they’re like. I can’t tell him that-that-,” 

“Brother.” Alluka says, brows knitted together. “You need to breathe.” 

Killua ceases his pacing and flops down on the couch next to her. “I am. I just can’t tell him. At all.” 

“Then I will.” Alluka says briskly. “Because he’s got to know. You knew this would happen. And look at you-you’re miserable! You need to tell him sooner or later. What did you tell him for now?” 

“I told him that Tsubone couldn’t take him back.” 

“Liar, and you know it. I’ll come with you, if you like, but you have to tell him the truth. Masadora isn’t like ordinary places. He’s probably going to be worse off you let him go back without telling him beforehand.” 

“I guess that’s true.” Killua says. “But then-,” 

“Listen to me!” Alluka says, and she puts both hands on his shoulders before looking him in the eyes. “You have to tell people things! That was always something that you hated, and Brother, I understand but you care about Gon a lot! And you have to tell him. You have to give him a choice. Most likely he’ll be fine. Okay?” 

Killua is quiet for a long moment, and Alluka makes a noise of exasperation. “Please.” She says finally. “Do it for him.” 

“I’ll do it.” Killua says, “But I’m not doing it tonight.” 

Alluka gives him a short nod, and she picks her knitting back up. “You’re doing the right thing, you know. If you let him alone, then he’d try to find his own way back to the mainland. You know he would. And it’s not even supposed to be possible to go back in the first place.” 

“I know.” Killua says, and he stares at the ceiling. 

“Good.” Alluka says, and they sit there for a long time with only the clack of her knitting needles and the occasional purr from the cat until the daylight comes in. It’s company, and for that Killua is eternally grateful to his sister. 

***

Gon lies in bed and stares at the ceiling and tries not to think about his meeting with Kite. 

He’d looked fine. Well enough, eyes still shadowed and tired, blue felt hat still pulled over his face, but that’s just Kite. 

The most notable difference had been how Kite hadn’t smiled at all, not at the sight of Gon or at the chatter that he brought into his house. He hadn’t moved a muscle the entire time, as a matter of fact. 

It hadn’t fazed Gon at the time, but now he wonders why. He wonders why he was the only one talking the entire time. He wonders if Kite was lonely too. 

The door creaks open, and Gon sits up on his elbows before scrambling out of bed and skidding on his socks into the front, where Killua is standing and frowning. 

“Hi.” He says, slightly breathless. Killua looks back at him and cracks a half-smile. 

“Hi.” 

“You didn’t come back last night.” Gon feels stupid immediately after he says it-of course he didn’t. He said he was going to talk to Alluka. He didn’t specify anything.

“No.” Killua agrees, and he stares at his hands. “Gon, there’s something I have to tell you. You can go back.” He takes a deep breath. 

“Great!” Gon says, “I’ll just take Tsubone and I’ll be back in a few-,” 

“No.” Killua says flatly. “You can take Tsubone, but time is different in Masadora. It feels like we’ve only been here a few months. It’s been three hundred years on the mainland. Everybody is-,” and here he pauses, drawing in a deep breath. “Everybody we knew is dead.” 

Gon feels like something in his chest is cracking. That can’t possibly be right. “But we’ve only been here-,” 

“I know.” Killua says, and he’s not meeting Gon’s eyes anymore. “But that’s not how it works over there.” 

“You’re-that can’t be right.” Gon repeats, as if saying it again will somehow make it true. But there’s no need to make it true, because they can’t all be dead. That isn’t how things work. 

“It is right, Gon!” Killua’s voice cracks a little bit on his name. “I can’t make it fake! I can’t bring them back! But if you go back, you have to know that they’re all gone.” 

“I’m going to go back, Killua.” Gon says. “And they’ll still be there. You’re amazing, Killua, but you’re wrong about this. That much time can’t have passed.” 

Killua doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he stares at some fixed point beyond Gon’s shoulder, eyes shuttered tight and tension in every line of his body. “Okay.” He says finally. “Tsubone can pick you up as soon as tomorrow. But just-just stay safe, please.” There’s something a little like begging in his voice. 

“I will, Killua,” Gon says softly, and he crosses the room and wraps Killua up in an embrace against him. “I’ll come back, I promise.” 

“I’m counting on you.” Killua mumbles into his shoulder. “You have to.” 

“I will.” 

They stay like that for a while until Gon finally breaks away and kisses Killua gently, and they both head back into the kitchen and talk about what the day will look like. There’s something shadowed in Killua’s eyes, but his gaze is the same as always when he looks at Gon, and there’s something nice about that familiarity. 

***

“Tsubone’s coming soon.” Killua says, and Gon nods against him. They’re curled together in an armchair that’s probably too big for the both of them, but that they’re making work. “You’ve got all your stuff?” 

“Yes,” Gon insists, and Killua rolls his eyes. “I’ve got my stuff, Killua. It’s only a few days. I’ll be back soon, okay?” 

Killua knows that it’s probably a lie, albeit one that Gon doesn’t recognize. But for now he sighs, and holds Gon a little tighter. 

“And you know the rule, right?” 

“I know.” Gon says, rolling his eyes and twisting in Killua’s arms to look at him with gold eyes. “You and Alluka told me yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that.” 

“Tell me again.” 

“I can’t get off of Tsubone while I’m there.” Gon says, “Otherwise I can’t ever come back. I know, though. I’ll be careful.” 

“Promise?” Killua says, although he knows that just saying that is useless. It’s the sort of thing that a child would say. And they’re not children anymore. 

“Promise.” Gon says. “I’ll come back to you, Killua.” 

There’s a knock at the door, and Alluka peeks her head in. “Tsubone’s here!” 

She shuffles in, wearing a dark blue dress and a somber headband. Killua wants to will it away, wants to make it less evident of what might be happening, but he doesn’t say a word. Gon wrinkles his nose, but doesn’t appear to pick up on anything. 

“Good evening, Master Killua.” Tsubone says as she enters after Alluka. “I am ready to take Mr. Freecss back to the mainland whenever he is ready.” 

“That’s now.” Gon says, hopping up and grabbing a suitcase that’s set next to the door. “Just let me say goodbye real quick. I’m going to miss you, Alluka!” He gives her a big hug and she returns it enthusiastically. 

“We’ll miss you too, Gon!” 

“Tell the cat that I’ll miss him, too.” Gon says, and Alluka laughs a little bit before stepping back as Gon turns to Killua. 

“Hey, Killua.” He says. 

“Hey.” Killua says, and Gon smiles at him, a big smile, before kissing him. It’s a soft kiss, and Killua clings on as tightly as he can, knowing that it might be the last one he gets from Gon and trying to dispel that reality. 

“See you in a few weeks.” Gon says, and Killua nods. “It’ll probably only be a few days to you, though!” 

_It won't be,_ is what Killua doesn't say. 

And then they're both gone, Gon waving over his shoulder rapidly and Tsubone giving Killua and Alluka a sharp glance but not another word. 

“Don't get off of her.” Killua whispers, and Alluka comes around to put a careful hand on his shoulder. “Please, Gon.” 

“Brother?” Alluka says quietly. “Why don't we go downstairs? We can make something together.” 

“Okay.” Killua agrees, but it's half hearted. They go down the stairs together, his hand in hers, and he tries not to think about Gon, tries to focus on the clink of the beads that are braided into Alluka’s long hair. 

It doesn't work. 

 

*** 

The ride back to the mainland is long, and Gon clings to Tsubone’s mane as the sun rises. He doesn't know how much time passes, but the streaks of light that paint the morning sky are where they're headed, and he doesn't want to think about what's the other way. 

Three hundred years. That can't be true. It's only been a few months at most. 

He can't imagine anybody dead. 

And it looks the same, he thinks, as they draw nearer. On the way, he doesn't remember the loneliness that's overcoming him now. The anticipation is new, too, the wanting to see everybody. He wonders what Leorio would say if he could see him now. He wonders if Kurapika would be impressed. 

But Leorio and Kurapika have seen far better wonders than riding back from the afterlife, probably. 

When they reach the shore, Tsubone doesn't transform back and it takes Gon a moment to realize why. He tightens his grip around her neck a little bit more, and they move forward. 

It's very different from how Gon remembers the woods. They're no longer sprawling, and the wind doesn't howl over the cliffs as though they're engaged in a private war. 

Now, the breeze tickles the back of his neck and the trees seem subdued, somehow. They're scraggly, smaller than the ones that he and Killua slept under when they were not yet married. 

Tiny tendrils of unease begin to make their way into his stomach. Tsubone is silent as they move along. 

The city, Gon thinks. They have to be nearly to the city. Yorkshin can't have changed that much. 

It can't have. 

“Tsubone?” He asks, just for something to say. 

“Yes?” 

Gon yelps, and nearly falls off of her. He didn’t expect her to actually speak, not in horse form. 

“Was Killua telling the truth when he said that time had-you know?” 

“Master Killua told the truth.” Tsubone says gravely. “It has been three hundred years here.” 

Gon takes a deep breath. 

“Let's go to the city,” He says quietly, because he can't think beyond the here and the now. 

“Very well.” 

They don't pass a soul on their way in, which makes sense. These trees look as though they can barely support the animals around them, much less anybody who chose to live among them. 

When they reach the city, Gon looks at the people around him in confusion before calling out to one of them. 

“Excuse me!” He asks, and the woman turns her head. “Do you know where I could find the Hunter Association Headquarters?” 

“The what?” She tilts her head to the side. 

“The Hunter Association Headquarters,” Gon repeats, trying to beat down the sense of dread that’s rapidly growing. 

“Never heard of it,” The woman responds, and Gon tries not to let his fear show on his face. 

“What about Neon Nostrade, and her bodyguards? They were here recently-her father is a part of the-,” 

“Neon Nostrade?” The woman says dismissively. “She's been dead for well over two centuries, son. Has your grandfather been telling you tall tales?” 

Tsubone turns her head, and Gon bites his lip until he tastes copper and tries to force a smile onto his face. 

“That must be it.” He says, the sound of his voice painful to his own ears. “Thank you, ma’am.” 

“Master Killua warned you.” Tsubone says gravely once they're out of earshot, her voice low and severe. It makes Gon think of Killua himself, of his careful insistence that Gon not go back, not see what it’s like, not witness the passing of time. 

That’s all gone to hell now, and he’s witnessing everything and hating it.

Nearby, a man and a woman are struggling to lift a post. Tsubone passes them, but Gon asks her quietly to stop-he remembers Bisky’s merciless training, remembers what it was like to struggle and try. There’s a moment where they simply look at each other. 

“I could help you.” Gon says, and the woman scoffs. 

“You look as though you’ve barely hit adulthood, young man.” She says. “Go back to your father.” 

It hits home, but Gon opts to ignore it, and he reaches down, carefully not getting off of Tsubone but lifting the post high as they stare at him. 

For a moment, he feels like he’s back with Biscuit and Palm and Knuckle and Shoot again. They all trained hard, but he was always the best at bearing the heavier burdens, much to Knuckle’s chagrin. 

Then, there’s a snap, and Gon doesn’t realize what has happened until it’s too late. 

The post breaks, Gon’s support shatters, and he falls off of Tsubone with a yell. Killua’s words ring in his ears as he falls: _don’t get off Tsubone, don’t, don’t don’t don’t-_

Too late. 

He doesn’t know what happens when he hits the ground, only that it hurts a good deal more than it should and that he feels several of his bones break in the process and then Tsubone is leaning over him, a human, and people are shouting. 

Nothing else registers in his mind after that-just darkness and noise and pain. 

***

News travels fast back to Masadora, and Alluka is in the kitchen, making almond cookies for her big brother deep into the night when she receives it. 

Gon Freecss left for the mainland three days ago. He dismounted his horse, touched the land of mortality, and aged the three hundred years that he missed in a split second. Though a doctor arrived in time, he had already broken several bones, and was dead before they could reach a hospital. 

Alluka seals the letter decisively, and tears it, once, twice, three times. 

She hasn’t seen her brother in a few hours, but she already knows that he’s gotten a copy of it. They arrived together-the only reason that she got a copy as well is because she has direct relation to him. The steady motion of the spoon against the metal bowl slows, and she puts down the cookie dough in favor of going out to the balcony and looking up at the stars. 

The constellations aren’t as interesting to her as they were to Killua and Gon. They always used to name them quietly. The Big Dipper, Orion, Aries, Ursa Major, and on and on and on. 

If she studies the sky hard enough, she thinks she can see two more stars, joining each other in the sky. If she squints, she can imagine her brother and his husband meeting each other in the sky, one last time. If she imagines, perhaps she can see herself there as well, smiling and handing them each an almond cookie. 

But then again, perhaps not. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for the hunter x hunter big bang for 2018! here you can find the [AMAZING ARTWORK HOLY SHIT I'M STILL SCREAMING](http://cazzart.tumblr.com/post/175252608153/here-are-my-entries-for-the-hxhbb18-i-had) which i insist you look at because it's absolutely _beautiful_. also you have to check out [THIS ONE](http://kitefreecss.tumblr.com/post/175381651456/far-away-from-the-land-you-knew-the-dawn-of-day) BECAUSE IT'S SO COOL AND PRETTY!! and finally go look at [THIS AMAZING PIECE](https://emeliesarts.tumblr.com/post/175421643616/my-art-cannot-do-justice-to-the-stunning-fic-by) with alluka from the final scene. all of them are incredible and i'm still reeling!! and i'd like to give a huge thank you to the artists for working so hard for the event!! 
> 
> as always, you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/poppyrainstorm) or on [tumblr](https://poppyrainstorm.tumblr.com) if you want to talk about killugon, hxh, or anything really!
> 
> title is from clocks by coldplay


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